While going back and forth to DC and home there was wondering and waiting. Waiting for that ‘thing’ to appear. My eyes were peeled, senses tuned in to every little interaction. Did the key to my future lay with the person behind the counter I ordered my lunch from? Was it with the stranger I bumped on the Metro? Was it in the direction that pigeon was flying? Do I follow that bird?! I was exhausting myself with the ‘active waiting’ some people say is key to opening yourself up to the universal messages found on the whispering wind.
There was a single father at my post, searching for a mother for his son. Nothing he expressed in words, but his eyes looked hopeful when in casual conversation it was made clear I wasn’t married, wanted children and liked the DC metro area. He was older than me by at least 10 years. His son 13 years old. I was fast approaching 32 which was the age a tarot card reader told me I’d get married by. It’s ridiculous but that number stuck with me, HARD.
Needless to say, in spite of having a boyfriend, I was mentally and emotionally open to new connections. That’s on top of a genuine desire to connect platonically with people who I cross paths with.
The extra vibe of looking for a life partner brought a lot of different people into my sphere over the years. The single dad was not in my cards as an option, but it made me wonder if that was a potential situation. I’d always thought of the standard, boy meets girl, they date, get married, and then have a family.
What if, the man I fell for had a kid, or two, or more? Was I going to have rethink the way in which I was mother? Did I want to? Did I have to let go of the story I had in my head in order to let things flow naturally? Or was that too much compromise? Was it better to stick with how it looked and not quite get how I wanted a relationship to feel?
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