Surprise, I’m Married!


I used to have this wonderful condo with a balcony. I would sit out there, alone or with friends and soak up the the afternoon sun. From my vantage point I could see the comings and goings of my neighbors and some I became friendly with, albeit from a distance. Two of my regulars were a set of guy friends. The first, Phan was my neighbor who lived with his girlfriend one door down, and the second was Phan’s friend. They always seemed to be coming or going to some sporting event. Whether it was basketball, soccer or football I’ll never know.

Phan’s friend was cute. We would eye each other; me from my perch and him from down below, very Romeo and Juliet. He and I wouldn’t talk much but then one day he invited me to grab a coffee. There was a sweet little independent java shop very close to the apartment so we walked over.

He was all muscle and brawn. He talked about sports, how he liked to win, and his stubborn nature. I just took him all in. In fact I was so busy looking at him I can’t even remember his name now, we’ll call him Mike.  What I do remember is him hiking up his sport shorts to show me a nasty scar he got doing some kind of down hill snow sport. Mike rambled on about his recovery and I must have grunted every now and then.

It was a brief interaction and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it and then a day or two later Phan invited me out with his group of friends. Friend inviting me out for a night of drinking with his friends, Mike included. Good sign! Of course I was not going to go alone. So on the designated night I arrived at the bar with my friend Katie in tow.

We spotted Phan and Mike right away and I met everyone in the group with a smile and hand shakes all around. The crew was in the middle of playing a game of pool so Katie and I grabbed a drink at the bar. Soon enough Mike came over to chat. We were there blathering on about who knows what when Katie looked over at me and discretely motioned she had something to tell me.

I leaned in and she said that Mike had a wife, that I had just met her playing pool, and she was watching her husband and me talking like a hawk. I was shocked! That seems like a pretty important piece of information to forget to tell someone. Mike, who didn’t wear a ring, mentioned nothing about a wife at coffee, and invited me out for that matter. Was he so preoccupied with sports he forgot he was married?!

I asked him immediately about his bride and he went on to try to explain why he didn’t bring it up all the while his wife watched us at the bar like I had a bullseye on my forehead. For the life of me I can’t remember the lame things he said in his defense but he stayed and talked to me for a little too long after the wife bomb hit. Needless to say Katie and took our leave of that group shortly after. Good thing too, Katie said she was preparing for a girl fight based on how the wife was looking at me. And who can blame her?

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