Greener Pastures


The same night I turned my back on Mike was the night I met Jet. Jet and his friend were headed out of the bar at the same time Katie and I were, so we decided to continue our crawl together. It was a fun blur of a night that ended up with us dancing at one of the few joints that had decent music on a Thursday night. We all ended up at my place after the bars closed. Katie, who was dating someone at the time wasn’t interested in Jet’s friend but I was free as a bird and up for a little make out session. We had our fun and at some point Jet and his friend left.

During our morning of recovery Katie and I were drinking coffee and rehashing the night before. She asked if I liked Jet and I said I had had a good time. He was smart, worked in aerospace, a tad younger but not in the category of ‘boy’, and was outdoorsy. Then Katie burst my bubble. She told me that Jet had leaned over to her while we were out and said that he was interested in her and not me. Ouch.

Now, I was looking for a branch to cling to in the wake of multiple unsuccessful interactions with the opposite sex, literally any branch. So I was willing to overlook the slight speed bump of him liking my friend over me. I wanted so badly to find a replacement for what I lost, that anything would do. He just needed to get to know me right? Anything to keep from feeling sad, disappointed, lost, and afraid. Besides I didn’t make him stay to play tonsil hockey.

With my sights set at the second lowest bar possible I went about pursuing a guy who wasn’t really interested in me. I did most, if not all of the work. Keeping up communication, planning dates, etc. It helped that I was on the road so much, otherwise I might have come to my senses sooner and stopped working my ass off. 

Eventually though, I got tired of it and said I wanted him to have a little more investment. Big shock, he declined. I think he might have felt bad because he tried to meet up a few times after I walked away, but since he was flaky and I didn’t have amnesia, that never materialized. I wish I could say that that was the end of me giving my time to guys who really weren’t invested, but it wasn’t. It was just one stop on the road to self enlightenment.

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