At this point I had my fill of younger men. So when I met Sean who was 11 years my senior I was very happy. He worked at a local natural and organic marketing firm, was a divorcee with two kids. Things with Sean started off well. He was a down to earth interesting conversationalist . I’m not sure if it was his extra years of life experience, his past relationship lessons or the fact that he had kids, but he also seemed in tune with himself. It was a breath of fresh air to spend time with a MAN. We had movie nights in and date nights out, a lovely balance. One night while sipping wine on his porch, Sean went in the house for a minute and beckoned me inside. I was surprised that he had locked the sliding door making my reentry into the house a little difficult. I stood there looking at him from the window with a quizzical expression on my face. Not being a teenager I found the game lacking in charm and went right back to my seat to continue drinking my wine.
After he saw there would be no fun at my expense he opened the door back up. I asked him what that was about and he said he had wanted to see what I would do. Yellow flag #1. The next flag was thrown while we were at brunch a week or two later. Sean and I went to a cute little creole place with good grits and amazing biscuits. I was chattering away about my week when his whole demeanor changed. I asked if I had said something to upset him and I could barely get a work out of him. The grown man had completely shut down without the ability to tell me anything about what he needed. The rest of brunch was spent in silence while I tried to get out of the hostile territory I had unwittingly entered.
During the time we were getting to know each other I was traveling for work (per usual). We had been experiencing higher than normal snow/rain fall that year and as I was waiting for my plane back home to board saw a news bulletin that there was extreme flooding in our area. Sean lived by water and I was worried for him but figured I would check in once I had made sure everything was ok with my family, friends and my own home. Once everything on my side of the fence was confirmed to be in ok shape I reached out to Sean. No answer. A few calls and texts later I started to become concerned. There were people who were missing on account of the high water levels and I checked lists for his name. He wasn’t listed as missing but still wasn’t responding to my communications to whether or not he was ok.
Two weeks passed and I started wondering whether he was ghosting and I had to know. Was he the asshole for not responding to someone concerned about his safety or was he in trouble and was I the jerk who should be doing more? I decided that the most effective way to address the situation was head on. To his office I went. If he were there I’d get to look him in the eye and if he were missing I would at least know. Lo and behold the front office assistant lead me straight to his office when I asked to see Sean. I was livid. His face looked like a dear in headlights. I glided into his office cool and calm, with a quip in hand about being relieved to see he was alive. Sean’s brilliant excuse was that he was feeling overwhelmed by life and that his strategy was to go radio silent. He then suggested we get lunch. I’m sure I rolled my eyes, or at least I should have. Age alone does not make a man, nor does it make someone considerate, or able to operate technology for that matter.